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This might be controversial and TMI, but it’s my blog!

January 21, 2009 @ 1:16 pm
posted by kris
Filed under: misc

Warning: Anyone not comfortable talking about circumcision can skip this post! I’m not debating whether it should be done or not. Hurtful/spiteful comments will be deleted.

I was very sad to find out yesterday that one of my boys needs to be circumcised (he’s 4). Not that I’m against it or anything, but to put him through the pain is upsetting. I don’t know any of the details yet, I still have to meet with the doctor to see exactly what the procedure is.

Other concerns are that none of the other boys are cut at school (the exact opposite problem from the US), so I hope it doesn’t give him a complex about it. I’m sure I’m making a bigger deal out of this than I should, but I worry about these things!

If there’s anyone who had their boy cut “after the fact” contact me? I have questions!

Comments (26)


Comment by jiva

Made on Wednesday, January 21st, 2009 @ 1:25 pm

my husband is tidied up, as is my brother inlaw. Sometimes it just does grow in a way that will cause discomfort and or infection if not snipped. My husband was about 4 when he had it done and he hardly remembers it and certainly does not remember the pain. My brotherinlaw had an infection in his 20’s and had to have it done as an adult. I think his son has been done too because of similar problems. Plus wait till he’s a teen and getting teased about it and let him know that in some cases (Mine) it can be preferable for a more enjoyable love experience. Although each to their own. Someone will want to love him one day snipped or not. I think its about 30% of men in the UK.. Just remind yourself its a health thing and not a sex thing.

Comment by sandy

Made on Wednesday, January 21st, 2009 @ 2:27 pm

It will be ok. remember if you were in the states the docs would have wanted to do it at birth. Try not to worry too much. I am sure it will all be ok in the end. Good luck and hugs to you!

Comment by Joansie

Made on Wednesday, January 21st, 2009 @ 2:44 pm

Kris, glad you told folks hurtful comments would be deleted. If you read my blog…two posts back, you’ll see what I had to do. You are the mother of those boys and are doing the best you can. Good luck!

Comment by Monika

Made on Wednesday, January 21st, 2009 @ 4:10 pm

For medical reasons, my son had this procuture done when he was five. It was upsetting for him and me, mostely becaue I put a bandage on the wrong way, which got stuck, and we had to go to the hospital to remove it. It was done with warm water, and no problem, but like you, I was worried and a little freaked out. After that he healed well, and we never spoke of it again. :o)

Comment by Elaine

Made on Wednesday, January 21st, 2009 @ 5:09 pm

Well, I don’t have any children, but I do know that my fiance was cut when he was much older, I think around 8 or 9. He was living overseas (dad was a diplomat and the moved around a lot, so I’m not really sure where exactly he was at the time) and I have never heard him mention that it ever bothered him.

Comment by Kerry

Made on Wednesday, January 21st, 2009 @ 5:26 pm

My friend just had to take her 13 year old son to have this done as it wasn’t completely removed at birth. They were both very, very concerned but said the worrying about it beforehand was the worst part of it. They numbed her son and he said he had no pain after at all. I hope the same is the case for your little guy. Any procedure is worrisome and especially something as delicate as that. Best of luck to you both!

Comment by Rosa

Made on Wednesday, January 21st, 2009 @ 5:29 pm

I am sorry that your little one has to go through it at his age, but I’ve heard of many little boys that had to go through it for the first time as a toddler or preschooler. And I’ve also heard of cases where the boys were done as newborns, but had to be redone as they grew. Thankfully, medicine is so advanced that he will be uncomfortable, but not debilitated by the pain. Good luck to both of you.

Comment by Loopykd

Made on Wednesday, January 21st, 2009 @ 5:44 pm

My heart goes out to you. I have a girl so I can’t relate at all other than the pain you are going through. I hope all goes well and you both wind up healthy and pain free!

Comment by Jess P

Made on Wednesday, January 21st, 2009 @ 5:47 pm

I don’t know anything about it (having 2 girls) but my heart goes out to you. I would say lots of popsicles and tylenol makes everything feel better. :)

Comment by Lorraine

Made on Wednesday, January 21st, 2009 @ 9:44 pm

My son was according to the dr “to small” when he was born. We wanted to have it done as soon as possible, but the dr told us the wrong weight requirements, and we ended up missing the date. The urologist had us wait until he was at least 1 yr since they were planning to sedate him. All I know is that he woke up groggy and PISSED. I know he must’ve been sore. We used LOTS of squeezable vaseline (easy to apply) and it healed just fine. I think it was a little over a week. He is 2.5 yrs now and seems to be doing ok.

Comment by stacey

Made on Wednesday, January 21st, 2009 @ 10:55 pm

I have girls – but totally agree – it’s your blog! Take care of those little ones! Hope all goes well!

Comment by shadkitty

Made on Wednesday, January 21st, 2009 @ 11:33 pm

My boys were done at birth (like you said, it’s common in the US), and I fully believe that it’s a personal choice. It’s scary that he’ll have to deal with it at this age. But I’m sure he’ll be fine. -hugs- to you!! I wish the best to you and your babies.

Comment by alala

Made on Thursday, January 22nd, 2009 @ 1:14 am

I have no relevant experience, and no useful advice, but lots of hugs and sympathy! I know it’s freaky at first, but I’m sure it’ll be all right.

Comment by Shannon

Made on Thursday, January 22nd, 2009 @ 2:32 pm

I’m so sorry this is happening. I’m sure he will get through this alright. It has to be stressful though.

Comment by Kirstin

Made on Friday, January 23rd, 2009 @ 7:27 am

I don’t have any kids, but recently discussed this with a parent friend of mine. He and his ex-wife are big hippies, so they decided to let their sons decided when they grew up if they wanted to be circumcised. He recently asked his 19 year old son about it and he said no–very quickly.
I think kids can be surprising mature if given the chance. Could you or rockstar husband talk to your son about it in a calm, matter-of-fact manner about it, so that everyone is calm? It could be good prep for you for “the talk” later.

Comment by heidi

Made on Friday, January 23rd, 2009 @ 8:09 pm

My brother had it done at six and was only a little bothered by the discomfort. It was explained to him why it needed to be done and he was given time to express his feelings and air his concerns and it never seemed to bother him afterward. I’m in the US but I seem to live in a community where circ. is NOT the norm. I did not have my son circ. and now he is six and having some problems with retraction. And if it should come to surgery I know that I will have to curb MY FEELINGS of loss first to help him realize that it is NOT a scar on his life or a loss but a medical matter that we are lucky to have access to. Like another poster stated kids can be amazingly mature when it comes to medical matters!!!

Comment by lynne

Made on Saturday, January 24th, 2009 @ 9:57 pm

My heart goes out to you. It’s always upsetting when your child needs surgery. I think it’s more stressful for the parents than the children.
My stepsons have the other situation. In the US, they weren’t when everyone else of their era and even their dad was. There were no issues.

Comment by Angie

Made on Sunday, January 25th, 2009 @ 1:41 am

Kris – So sorry you’re having to deal with this. Any time our kids have to be scared or hurt, it’s a thousand times worse than experiencing it ourselves! The good news is that your son is so young that this will hopefully be only a vague memory as he grows. In the meantime, between the meds from the doc and some TLC from mom & dad (and maybe a treat or two!) he should be on the mend very quickly.

Comment by Elemmaciltur

Made on Monday, January 26th, 2009 @ 6:33 pm

I have nothing vital to add here…just want to “Drücke Euch die Daumen” that all will go well.

Comment by Oblivia

Made on Tuesday, January 27th, 2009 @ 4:30 pm

Just have a kilt or a sari handy for afterwards. It’s so interesting that it’s the opposite trend there from in the States.

Comment by BlackPurl

Made on Wednesday, January 28th, 2009 @ 1:14 am

I don’t have sons (or children at all), but I know that this must be stressful for you (and your young son), so you’re both in my thoughts. If it comes up later – in the shower at school – tell him to tell *them* that he will be able to get American girls as *well* as European girls!

Comment by Jacky

Made on Thursday, January 29th, 2009 @ 3:35 pm

My little boy had a problem with a very tight for*sk*n, his Dad had to be circ. at about the age of your little boy, with the same problem. However at the time we were under a RAF consultant and his advise was first to teach our son how to play with the skin in the bath, nice warm soapy water and very slowly over a period of time stretch it back so that all popped out and everything could be cleaned properly. We took the job of teaching him in a very-matter-of-fact way, so that nothing untoward was thought or done and hey presto after a few weeks, everything was mended for life. My little boy is now a hurly burly 24 year old solider with no problems in that area what-so-ever. Thought this may be useful and I hope my son forgives me for sharing. Good luck to your son, I am sure he will be fine, if not a little sore for the first couple of wee’s and I believe no pants to be worn at first but all very soon to be forgotten.

Comment by sal

Made on Friday, January 30th, 2009 @ 4:50 pm

My youngest had an undescended testicle operated on a while back. All the other boys in the ward were having variations of circumcision (some were complete, some partial – Except the one little girl who had us all a bit puzzled!) Every one of them was absolutely fine when they had been “done” and all went home relieved and a little bow legged :)
Good luck!

Comment by Paige

Made on Friday, January 30th, 2009 @ 8:20 pm

Has your doctor given you a steroid cream to try to loosen things? In the States, docs are very quick to cut, and often a steroid cream can prevent surgery. However, sometimes you try everything and the surgery just needs to be done. Hope all goes well.

Comment by jen

Made on Friday, February 6th, 2009 @ 5:35 pm

My son is 5 and not circ’d and I worry about this all the time. He can’t retract and we have him practice in the bathtub to try to stretch it out. His pediatrician made a big deal about it a year ago, but we haven’t discussed it since. If he gets an infection or somethign, I suppose that will be that. I understand your worry, but I’m sure it will be fine. Judging by the comments, its a common procedure and should heal quickly.

Comment by Robin

Made on Saturday, February 7th, 2009 @ 8:34 pm

We adopted two boys (brothers – ages 4 and 5) from South Korea back in 1988. When the younger one was about 6 or 7, he had to be circumcised. He did fine! We have a picture of him sitting on the sofa in his sweats (loose pants important!) with an ice pack resting over his willy! He’s had no problems since – he’s now 24. His 25 year old brother has never had any problem and remains uncircumcised.

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